Blue Goo
by PadfootIsMyHomeDawg
Summary: Companion piece to my full-length fic, Parsel. Remus helps Harry brush his teeth for the first time. Harry is just confused what this odd-smelling blue goo is supposed to be doing. By request.


**After having a lot of the learning scenes with Sirius, I decided Remus should have his chance to teach Harry something, so here it is! This is by request of pandalover9914, so I hope you enjoy it!**

 **…**

Silas peered dubiously at the… _thing_ that Shyam-Seff had given him. It was possibly one of the weirdest things he had ever seen – and he had seen several weird things that were apparently "normal" for humans.

It looked like a long white stick of some sort, with soft poky things bunched together at the end. Shyam-Seff had called it a "toothbrush" when he had told him he needed to "brush his teeth" after breakfast that morning. Apparently it was a normal thing for humans, but while Silas knew what teeth were, he hadn't the faintest idea what a "brush" was. Although, it looked a bit like the thing Sirius had helped him use this morning to untangle his hair – just a smaller version. But he didn't need to untangle his _teeth_ …

And on top of the bunched-up bristles was some sort of dark blue goo that smelled _very_ odd. It was strong for him in human form, but for Sadi, with her heightened sense of smell, it was practically unbearable, and she had departed to stay on Silas' bed while Shyam-Seff helped him. It smelled a bit like mint leaves, only _much_ stronger.

"You have to put it in your mouth, Silas," Shyam-Seff prodded gently after several moments of him staring at the brush in silent confusion.

Silas' brows scrunched further. "Www-iiiiiy?" he said slowly, trying to pronounce the word right.

"Well, it will clean your teeth," Shyam-Seff explained, stepping closer. "Let me help you."

Silas flinched back when the man reached for his hand, but he allowed the wolf to take his hand and guide the bristles covered in the blue goo into his mouth.

At the first taste of the strong mint, Silas gagged, letting go of the "toothbrush" and wanting to spit out the nasty flavor. Shyam-Seff pulled the brush back to be sure he was alright.

"What's wrong?" the wolf said, and if Silas didn't know any better, he'd think that he was concerned.

"Ggguh-guh-www-oooh-ssss," Silas tried, wiping his hand on his tongue to get rid of the flavor.

"It's gross?" Shyam-Seff clarified. Silas nodded, smacking his tongue in his mouth in disgust. "Hm. Let me see if I can try something." He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the goo, chanting a short spell that made the paste appear the same but becoming much more pleasing to his sense of smell.

"Alright, let's see if this works," Shyam-Seff commented. "Open your mouth."

Silas obeyed, however wary of the wolf he was, and then felt an odd sort of pressure on his teeth that made him instinctively bite down. At the wolf's gentle instruction, he reluctantly opened his mouth again, and the brush began making small circles on Silas' back teeth. The brush moved through his mouth, making him grimace at not being able to swallow the real food – especially as the goo tasted a lot like sausages.

"Move your lips above your teeth," Shyam-Seff instructed after a few moments. Silas blinked in confusion, so the wolf elaborated, "Bare your teeth, Silas. I need to clean the fronts."

Silas understood then, and bared his teeth, allowing Shyam-Seff to continue the circular movements, apparently cleaning the teeth.

"You always want to make small circles when cleaning your teeth," Shyam-Seff instructed as he continued his movements. "That way it can get into the crevices as well."

Silas said nothing, not understanding the importance of the instructions but taking them at face value, anyway. After all, he had promised himself he'd learn as much as he could about the human world, to better fit in when he went to Hogwarts. This was just one of those things he suspected he'd never understand but would follow anyway.

"Alright, spit," Shyam-Seff instructed, pulling the toothbrush from his mouth and stepping back.

Silas didn't know why the man would want to be spat upon, but he obeyed, spitting the foamy stuff in his mouth straight out, spraying much of it on Shyam-Seff's front.

The man paused, stilling, having closed his eyes when the paste spattered in his face. Silas suddenly wondered if he'd done something wrong – he'd only followed the man's instructions, so what might make him angry?

"I meant into the sink, Silas," Shyam-Seff huffed a chuckle after several long moments, looking back down at him.

Obediently, Silas went to the sink, gathering more spit in his mouth before bending over and spitting it out into the sink. He straightened, only thinking of how odd the human rules were.

He heard Shyam-Seff chuckle behind him. "Alright, Silas, now you'll want to rinse the toothpaste and drool off your chin, and rinse out your mouth." He reached around him to turn the faucet, and water came streaming from the spout in the center. "Just cup some in your hand, and splash it over your face, alright?"

Silas blinked, but he put his hand under the water and tried splashing it up toward his face, but it wasn't going far enough before he was out of water, it having fallen back into the sink – or on his shirt that he'd been made to wear this morning.

Shyam-Seff chuckled again, and Silas wanted to bite him. What was so funny, anyway? He just kept _laughing_ , and he wasn't even doing anything particularly amusing.

"Here, let me help you," the wolf said, stepping up just behind him. "Bend over the sink a bit." Silas obeyed warily, and Shyam-Seff put his own palm beneath the flow of water, letting it pool in his hand before splashing it up to wash over Silas' mouth and chin. He did this a couple more times, making sure that the rest of the foam was gone.

"Now you can bend your head under the faucet to get a drink," Shyam-Seff instructed, pulling back a bit. "Take a mouthful and swish it around before spitting it back in the sink. It will get rid of the excess toothpaste and residue."

Silas obeyed his instructions, and it was after he'd finished that he realized his teeth were a lot smoother than he could ever remember them being. While Shyam-Seff grabbed a cloth and patted the water from his face, he ran his tongue over his teeth, marveling at their smoothness.

"Www-whhyyy…?" he started.

Shyam-Seff smiled at him. "It's because they're finally clean," he answered, having deduced what Silas was trying to ask. "You've got all the food and junk off your teeth now, so you won't have cavities. Those are holes in your teeth," he explained at Silas' confused look. "You'll have to brush at least twice a day, preferably after meals." He waved his wand at the tube that the blue goo had come out of. "You shouldn't have a problem with the taste anymore – I think it's supposed to taste like meat with this spell.* And, we'll get to teaching you how to floss another day."

Silas didn't know what "floss" was, but he had a great suspicion that he wouldn't enjoy it in the least.

Honestly, the things he did to figure out this human lifestyle were crazy. Hopefully there wouldn't be too many great surprises. He didn't think he would be surprised to learn that humans washed the rest of their bodies as well as their teeth. Honestly, they were just odd like that.

…

 ***I have this idea that the spell was invented by adult werewolves to help any children turned. See, I feel like right after they're turned they'd be like Harry and only want meats, so mint or bubblegum toothpaste would be repulsive. So, to help young werewolves not spurn the idea of regularly brushing their teeth, maybe a momma werewolf invented the spell to change the flavor to something they would like. I unfortunately couldn't have Remus advertise that, because he's supposed to be clueless at this point that Harry knows he's a werewolf and is trying to keep that from him.**

 **Also, I really hate flossing, so I had to include that line about how he's sure he would hate it. (Although I'd rather floss myself any day of the week than a dentist doing it. I swear they cut your gums open like they're trying to hack away at them!)**

 **The ending, I think, was a bit awkward, but I hope that's okay. It's supposed to be a foreshadowing of what would happen later that night, which is when he took his first shower, with Sirius' help. (See my oneshot, "First Shower", for that story.)**

 **I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!**


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